


bellyache

by saney



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Gun Violence, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kinda, Not Canon Compliant, Past Rape/Non-con, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Relationships are in the background, Sad Ending, Suicide, Swearing, The party is 17, Violence, lyrics of bellyache
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-28 22:29:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16731831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saney/pseuds/saney
Summary: Eleven's lost her mind.Max wears her noose like a necklace.Lucas is too young to go to jail.Dustin's looking for the money.Mike thought he'd feel better.Will has a bellyache.(based off of billie eilish's bellyache)(the ships are really a background thing)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This fic is centred around violence and potentially disturbing things. Please do not read if you are not okay with any of that.

Will's not scared at all.  
Will is fucking terrified.  
He doesn't really know how the hell this happened, and he really wishes it hadn't. The party decided that they'd follow in the path of El's sister Kali, last night. After a night of drinking and an overly aggressive campaign, the party (excluding Will, who was sober enough to see the huge flaw in this idea) collectively agreed to go off the radar, and do all of the things they want to. Including murdering a few people. Will thought they were insane, and this was dangerous. Mike's parents were in the very same house! And they were planning murders! And robberies! And all-out anarchy. It was fucking insane. He'd tried to convince them that this would ruin their lives, but Jane retorted with "Well they're already fucking ruined!" in a slurred voice that reminded him of the drunk voice of his father, that he used to fear.  
Lonnie was the first on the hit list.  
Will didn't agree, but he didn't disagree either. It's his father, but also one of the demons that resides within him. And god knows who else's lives could be ruined by. So Will let them. He shouldn't, but he gave in. He has a bad habit of doing that.  
So now he's sitting all alone on his driveway, waiting for Lucas to pick him up. Lucas had grown stronger over the years, mentally and physically. Emotionally? He's as weak as Will's connection on his Walkie Talkie. That meaning: extremely weak. But then again, so's the rest of the party.  
Will's mom thinks he's going on a road trip. It is summer, after all. Will can't handle the thought of his mom worrying about him again. He silently begs whatever god there is to let his friend's call this off.  
But as life tends to screw him over, they don’t.

As he gathers his belongings, he really wishes he’d said something. He’s always too scared! This is stupid. He puts his sketchbook in his suitcase, and goes to his mom. She tells him he has to call her every night, and he brushes her off with a hug. Telling her that he loves her, he abandons his home. He perches on his driveway, mouth full of gum. The party will be here soon.  
He could say he doesn’t want to be involved. He could do literally anything right now and he wouldn’t have to be involved. But of course he doesn’t, because he can’t lose his friends. He’s sick and tired of being weak too. 

They arrive in Dustin’s minivan, and a pit forms in Will’s stomach. They’re going to kill his father. Well he isn’t really his father, no man like that could ever be considered a father.  
“Hop in, we have things to do and people to… visit.” They’re all way too happy about this. He listens to them anyway.

When they reach Indianapolis the fear has only cranked up by 100. This is not normal. But when has he been? Lonnie is going to kill him when he sees him. He’s never liked Will’s friends. He’s never liked anyone. He passes his days by drinking and screwing anyone in sight. Will’s always believed he hasn’t got feelings, like he’s some sort of psychopath you hear about on the news. He just doesn’t get caught. He hurts and he hurts and he hurts until everyone around him wants to die. And he laughs while doing it. But that doesn’t reward him with a death. No one deserves to die.  
Clearly the Party disagrees.  
“If another girlfriend is home, we kill her too.” Mike says. It’s so out of character and Will hates every part of it. Why did they all change? What triggered this sudden violence? El’s killed before, but the people he’s known all his life? Why do they think this is okay?  
He says none of this out loud. The thoughts are trapped leaking through every vein in his body.  
“We’re almost here. Get ready guys.”

The arrival was smooth, but Will felt uneasy. Gun in hand, he felt so out of himself. Like he’d died and gone to hell. This was his personal hell. Seeing the smirks as they get out of the car, possessed by bloodlust and buried pain. Watching his friends become the same monsters they’d fought so hard to stop. Eventually, he’ll end up the same. That’ll be the worst part.

Lucas pinning Lonnie to the wall isn’t the worst part. Not at all. Not even Max, Mike and Dustin beating him til his body was red. The worst part is seeing the brief look of guilt being replaced by anger when El kills Lonnie’s new kid and wife.

Perhaps that is the worst part, but the scariest is the shower of voices burning into his ear tell him to do the honour, and shoot. Shoot the man who gave him life.

Shoot the man who gave him this horrible life. 

He feels their energy coursing through him, but it wasn’t by choice that he pulled the trigger.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter includes themes of rape, self harm, murder, and gun violence. Please do not read if any of the tags are sensitive topics, or triggering.

He feels like he’s choking. That’s right, it’s because he is. Will was congratulated by his friends, even though they should know as well as him that El used her powers to make Will kill Lonnie. Currently, they’re speeding down the highway, three dead bodies in tow. The rest find it exhilarating, maybe excluding Lucas. Had Will’s bullet been even an inch off, he’d probably be dead. The thought haunts him. Is the logic seeping through to his friend? At the moment he’s more distracted by Max attacking his lips. A makeout celebration for murder! Great!

He is unsure of how to deal with the fact he just killed his father. He hasn’t fully processed it. He doesn’t want to. What will he tell Jonathan? He never liked their father but he cries over any death. Watching his friends drag out Lonnie’s corpse really sent his body into shutdown. Is this what his friends felt when they saw his fake body being pulled out of the water in ‘83? However, they did not kill him. Not like they are now.

He doesn’t want to know why they’ve all became shadows of themselves, but he does. El, fed up with Hopper’s idealistic ‘normal life’, claimed she could never be normal, and after seeing Kali again, decided this was the only way she could live her life. Mike, after seeing his family torn apart because of his parent’s divorce, being the one to catch both parents in affairs, decided he didn’t ever want that for himself. Max, after multiple events. First, Mike telling her that it was Billy who his mother cheated with. Second, the news of her father’s suicide. Third, her mother laughing at the news, saying he deserved it. She hasn’t really been the same since, her resolution has been alcohol, and Will’s scared she’ll have too much. Lucas’ parents were found in hospital last year, after having being assaulted because of their colour. Lucas cried for days after he saw their bruised bodies, cuts bandaged up. When they went to court, there was no justice, and the assaulters’ defense was “They were looking at us funny.” Turned out, one of them had also pulled out a gun, but didn’t shoot. Dustin, well he didn’t really talk about it for a long time. When he did, the whole party’s reality changed. One of the new teachers at Hawkins High had raped him. He only told the party, and no one knew quite how to handle it. Dustin’s been jumpy ever since. And on several occasions he’s woke up on sleepovers screaming. He didn’t even tell Steve, he felt too ashamed to. Will wishes he’d been there to help all of his friends. They have to know this isn’t the way to do this, right? In therapy, Will was told about unhealthy coping mechanisms. He doesn’t think they’d have brought it up had he not worn such loose sleeves.

Billy lives in Indianapolis too. And of course they’re going to pay him a visit. Max and Mike both agreed that he deserved this, and he’s certain this is the first time they’ve agreed on anything. Lucas also agreed, as a victim of Billy’s abusive nature. So in a car full of eccentric teenagers, Will stays silent. El is currently on Mike’s lap, Lucas and Max are fully making out. Dustin is belting every lyric to possibly the world’s most angry song. Will is in a car full of strangers, and feels every part of his body want to throw him out of it. He wants to cry, but he’s sure if he did he wouldn’t ever stop. He doesn’t want the party to think him more of a wuss than they have for years. He’s a wuss for still being afraid of the dark, he’s a wuss for having never told Mike how he felt, he’s a wuss for replacing sleep with tears. He hates himself. 

They’ve reached Billy’s house now, and Max pushes the door down with brute force. In any other context he’d be astonished. As the party floods in, he notices the way Dustin is hesitant. The others have already gone on a manhunt, and he seems to have stationed himself at the door, even though everyone expected that job to go to Will.  
“You okay?” He asks, although he knows the answer. Dustin knows he knows the answer. “If you want, I can man the door and you can look for the money?”   
“Okay.” And Dustin disappears. Will can hear slamming, shouting, and shooting. It’s at this moment he wishes he were deaf. Or dead. A fall of a body, unrecognisable from the red paint decorating it. Billy’s remains have fallen down the stairs to Will’s feet. The party cover their tracks by cleaning the line of blood following Billy.  
“What the hell, Mom?” He distinguishes is Mike’s voice. And then he distinguishes another gunshot. Will he become numb to the sound one day?

They’ve now killed 5 people, and the day is starting to end. The party are fully aware of Will’s situation with his Mom wanting to call, so they get as far away from the town as possible, to a phone on a highway people travel daily but no one knows the name of.   
“Will! Sweetie are you okay?”  
“Yes Mom, I’m okay.” He isn’t, but he can’t really tell her that he is now a murderer, can he?  
“Have you found a place to stay for the night? Do you have enough clothes? Food? You haven’t forgotten anything? You can always come back, I’ll be here!”  
“Yes Mom, I know. I have everything. It’s fine. We’re going to stay at a hotel tonight.”  
“Okay, just know I love you.”  
“I love you too. Bye Mom.”  
“Call tomorrow. Bye sweetie.”  
The call ends, signifying however close they were before today, that is gone. 

This will kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope I've tried to show what led the characters to this point, although in a very dark way. This is set in the summer of 1988, if you were wondering when this is set. I feel like this fic will be a longer one, I'm taking it chapter by chapter rather than it all being planned out like a lot of my previous work. I don't know how often I'll be posting, but I hope you like this!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Gun violence, period typical homophobia, referenced sex.

Will wakes in a sweat, the hotel bed drenched with terror. _He killed his father yesterday._  
The thought bores into his brain like a hammer. He could go to prison for life! He looks over at Dustin, who he’s sharing the room with, and notices how fidgety he is. He must be having a nightmare. Meanwhile, he can hear moaning from another room. The party booked three separate rooms, so the couples could sleep together, leaving him and Dustin. The sounds continue. _Ew._ It’s not Lucas and Max, so obviously it’s Mike and Eleven. He feels repulsed, for many reasons. They’re literally murderers! And it doesn’t help that Will isn’t completely over his childhood crush on Mike, so it hurts too.

It’s woken up Dustin. Or it may have been the nightmares. The hotel walls are thin, but Dustin’s emotional ones are enforced by years of being the mediator. Will can only try to help.  
“You okay buddy?”  
“I’ve assisted 5 murders! Do you think I am okay?” He is aggressive, until it’s replaced with tears. “I have to face him again! They’re going to make me kill him! You’re a murderer! I’ll be one too!”  
Will embraces Dustin, who’s hyperventilating. _I’m a murderer._ He feels guilt crawl up his back. It reminds him all too much of 1984, when the Mind Flayer sent those guards to die through him. Is this any different?  
Will tries to regulate both Dustin’s and his own breathing, telling him “Calm down” and “They won’t make you kill him”. The boy seems trapped in his own peril. This really doesn’t feel fair. Whatever justice the others feel they’re doing doesn’t outweigh the grief and guilt. Anxiety is shared between the two boys, and only they know the way each other will break. A look turns into more tears and they’ve both resolved they _need to get out_.  
“This is hell, right?” Dustin asks between sobs. “We’re crying over the deaths while our friends are fucking in the next room.”  
“It’s fucked up.” He states, and a rush of there’s nothing left to lose tells him to speak his mind. “I’m gay and the guy I’ve loved almost my whole life is fucking his girlfriend who made me kill my dad in the room next to me.”  
“Shit, Will. I’m gay too.” He falls apart. “We moved to Hawkins, me and my Mom. In my old town my dad caught me kissing a boy. Almost killed me and my kid self. I was so young!”  
"What about Max?"  
"I think I just wanted somebody's attention."  
"Oh." Will feels his pain, and blurts out. “My dad’s dead from a bullet from my gun.”  
“We’re fucked, aren’t we?”  
“So we are.”

The next day was a blur, between going back on the road (although they were to return to the hotel that night), and the tension in the party. Ever so often Will and Dustin would share a glance, because they had both decided they want out. Mike and Eleven didn’t seem to want to stop with the PDA and the slobbery kisses seemed never ending. They were in love, so fuck everything else. Max and Lucas were planning all of the following murders, and when they would dispose of the bodies. What a lovely bonfire that will be.

They reached Mr Fristing’s house, and Will immediately knew this was a bad idea. Dustin’s leg was shaking on the pedal and no one seemed to notice but him. They pulled up, El found out who was in there (him and his wife, he didn’t have children), and they stormed the house. Max and Lucas immediately went for the wife, and Mike tackled their teacher. Dustin was visibly freaking out as El handed him the gun, telling him that he could do it. Clearly he couldn’t.  
“I’ll do it.” Why did he say that? Of all the things Will could have said, that?  
“It’s Dustin’s kill.”  
“Clearly he doesn’t want to be here, Dustin go to the car. I will do it.” Better him, right? He has to insist.  
“Fine.” El grunted, and Dustin passed Will the gun and mouthed thank you.

Will had experience with guns, and it’s not like this is the demogorgon, right? He can do this, right? He can’t do this, but he has to. So he tries reliving the pain that Dustin felt, and like the others, uses it to push him through. They have a lot of anger, so he tries to find that. He knows that this is wrong, every part of him feels it, but he knows if he doesn’t they will anyway.

He aims the gun, wishes he wasn’t him, and pulls the trigger.

He breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter, it had some Dustin/Will which of all the ships is probably going to be most prominent, although until it happens romantically, Will's crush on Mike will be there. And obviously Lumax and Mileven are just happening anyways. I'm hoping this fic will have at least ten chapters if not more, but I won't be consistently posting. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Themes of racism, violence, and all around dark things.

Will remembers the day Lucas went to see his parents in hospital. Actually, he remembers the day after, when Lucas came to school with 100 eyebags and eyes crimson. That day, Lucas decided no one was safe, Will’s sure he doesn’t even fully trust Max. It’s understandable, though. But he doesn’t understand why Lucas would want to seek revenge when it’s just proving them right? It’s counterproductive, his time would be better suited to seeking legal justice again. Yes, it didn’t work before, but Lucas has a knack for being persuasive, and that’s only grown with time.

 

They reach the house of his parents’ assaulters. Lucas is tense, and visibly furious. Much unlike Dustin’s feeble stature when they reached his rapists’ house. Lucas looks like he wants to tear these people apart limb by limb. See the blood pour. It’s truly terrifying to see his friends’ violent sides. Seeing their smirks as their tormentors die. 

 

Will feels himself faint.

 

Regaining consciousness, he sees Dustin. He’s lying on his lap, still in the minivan. Where is everyone else? Dustin sends him a comforting smile, and lifts him up. He then frowns.

“They’re inside killing those people, if you’re wondering.” Dustin informs. “It’s terrifying, I know. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. You passed out just before we arrived. Is it because of them?”

Will nods.

“They’re probably reeking havoc in there. I told them that I wanted to stay here to look after you. While true, I just couldn’t bare to see it.”

“I know. I knew if I didn’t kill Mr Fristing, they’d make you do it.”

“Thank you for that. This is horrible. We have to tell them it’s not okay!”

“Like they’d listen.”

“Then we break off now!”

“They pin the murders on us. Hell I committed two of them!”

“Shit.”

“Shit indeed.”

“They’re coming back.”

 

Lifting the bodies into the car was possibly the worst part of that kill. The carcasses left a feeling of hopeless guilt in Will. Discarded among the others, he wonders if the others are aware of what they’re doing. Taking someone’s life because they ruined yours? There are plenty of better ways to deal with it than this. When they get back into the car, Will feels nothing but fear. What if they decide they’ve had enough of him and off him too? He really can only trust Dustin. 

 

He knew his friends for most of his life. The way they walked to the way they thought. Their opinions on any topic, their hopes and dreams. He knew they were undeniably  _ good _ people. Does a series of bad events really change a person so much? Clearly it does, because he too is a murderer. Are they just feeling pressured too? Or was this a part of them all along. The vehicle should be solemn, reflecting. It should have an air of guilt, regret. In fact, it shouldn’t be here at all.

 

Instead, it’s a riot. If a person with no knowledge of the soulless bodies came across the group, they’d see a bunch of teenagers having fun on a road trip. Giggling, laughing like hyenas. High on life. Will feels betrayal, Dustin does too. The weight of the situation lays solely on their shoulders. And as with life, it’s unfair. It’s disgusting. 

 

They’re hostages of peer pressure. Of friendships doomed to fail. The consequence of the wrong place, wrong time. Will is stuck, not wanting to let go of a sweeter time because reality is grim. Every friendship has a shelf life, and unfortunately Will’s with the majority of the party is running out. It’s a gloomy thought, encased in harsh truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, it's had a bitter ending, and unfortunately, the story will not have a happy ending. But again, thank you for reading.


End file.
